We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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