Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
