absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
