I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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