then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
