Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
