No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
