You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
