I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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