Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
