Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We left the knife in your bed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
