he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You ruined the universe
Randomize
