i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
