my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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