You're completely useless in the revolution.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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