i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
