just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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