it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
