You're so nebulous sometimes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
40s are totally the cure
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
