Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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