she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
