Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize