How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Panties = found
Randomize
