ya dads aren't the best wingmen
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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