Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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