did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
