I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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