he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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