R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
