i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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