so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
