that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Please don't give away my fajitas
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
