Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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