Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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