Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
