What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
