is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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