i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
