Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
