Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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