I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
