It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
