Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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