Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if only i could text you this smell
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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