you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
