Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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