How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
there's paper in my vomit.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize