He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
