i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
