uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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